Yo Mama

But Seriously Folks, My Mama Never Wore Running Shoes…Ever

It’s been five years since my mother left this planet. I miss her a lot, especially on Mother’s Day. So, this is for her.

My mother was not a runner. I don’t think she ever owned a pair of running shoes, but I did find a picture of her wearing army boots (see below) from a trip she and Daddy made to visit my sister in Germany. So yes, my Mama wore army boots!

But she was never an avid exerciser. I never saw her jump rope, run, or even do jumping jacks. Don’t get me wrong, Mama wasn’t against fitness, but she didn’t like to sweat. There were only two times that I can remember seeing her exercise…on purpose.

One was when I was about 5, she would don a long-sleeve black leotard with tights, turn on our box tv and tune in to The Jack LaLanne Show. Sometimes I exercised along with Jack, his wife Elaine, his dog Happy, and, of course,  my mom. Jack was considered the Godfather of Fitness, and he lived to be almost 100, so obviously he was doing something right.

Later, Mama joined a “spa” for ladies, and I remember seeing her on a machine with a big vibrating strap that made her butt wobble. All she had to do was stand there and let the contraption jiggle off the pounds. This machine was perfect for her! I’m not so sure it did anything to improve her fitness level, but she loved it.

Then, after that, she had my baby sister and brother, and I guess she figured keeping up with them was plenty of exercise.

I guess I inherited my “wimpy” from my mother.

If You Can’t be Fit, Be Funny

Regardless of the “wimpy,” Mama did pass on to me her funny bone.

She loved to dress up as all sorts of crazy characters and “perform.” She was a witch at our Halloween haunted house, Pocahontas at Thanksgiving, Minnie Pearl at her Red Hat Society meeting, and Dolly Parton at a neighborhood costume party.