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Happy Thanksgiving

We’re coming clean. Even though we are generally the only ones in the conversation to admit it, it’s time to stop pretending — Capt’n Clean and I just don’t like turkey.

Going into this holiday season, the good news is that I’m hearing more and more people that share our aversion to the mighty bird.

Since many of us are downsizing, maybe it’s time to either cook smaller turkeys or forego the foul fowl altogether. The leftovers alone from a 20-pound bird make me shutter.

I know, I know…eating turkey at Thanksgiving has always felt obligatory. Americans for decades have considered it a staple of the holiday season, but come on, if it was so yummy, why does everyone rely on gravy and cranberry sauce and stuffing to make it palatable? Cooking it takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r, and unless the chef knows what he’s doing, it comes out too dry or partially frozen.

Why are we even attached to turkey at Thanksgiving? I guess it’s from years of conditioning. When we were kids our teachers and all the other adults told us that the pilgrims and their indigenous North American guests came together to chow down on turkey at the “first” Thanksgiving. It’s just not true. It wasn’t until over 200 years later, that there was a big push on a national scale for Americans to eat food that was native to the land rather than copy the dining habits of the British.

According to a quote attributed to Alexander Hamilton, “No citizen of the US shall refrain from turkey on Thanksgiving Day.”

Well Mr. Hamilton, even though we love your rap style and musical, we refrain.

Capt’n Clean is going to smoke a brisket for us this year or I may make lasagna, because what this holiday is all about is not what you eat, but rather what you feel and how you celebrate.

Even though my belly will not be filled with turkey today, my heart is filled with joy and gratitude because I have friends and supporters like you. Thank you for laughing when my jokes are corny and continuing to “like” the cartoons when the lines are crooked and the proportions are off. My gratitude abounds.

Capt’n Clean and I wish you a very happy Thanksgiving and a terrific holiday season.

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This work by Anel “Pookie” Ryan is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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